Change

Change:
1. To become different or undergo alteration
2. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another
Change is something I, and many others fear.
Fear is defined as:
1.To consider probable; expect.
2.Feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
3.A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in.

Fear can be useful. For example, one's fear of failing a test can move them to study hard, ensuring they'll get a good grade on the test. It can be devastating as well. People become comfortable where they are and become paralyzed by it. It can root them in place, not allowing them to get out of a miserable situation. A lot of people believe that there is no way on god's green earth that they can move towards positive change. They believe in the word's to an old song: "What's the use in trying? All you get is Pain. Disappointment haunted on my dreams." They might think they don't deserve it ie; I am a worthless loser. I don't deserve good things, therefore they won't happen. They feel completely and utterly stuck. Sometimes, no matter how dire the situation you have to hope that it can and will get better. I firmly believe that "Where there is no hope the people perish." You cannot thrive without hoping for change. You can only exist. I spent my whole life deathly afraid to such extremes, that I'd sit in the same place every day, whether it be on a bus in school. If 'my place' was taken I'd have a panic attack and feel serve anxiety. I'd be unable to function for the rest of the day. I grew up with message that I was no better than trash on the ground and would never amount to anything. I have a revelation in the past few months with some help. I cannot stay in my situation and continue to do what I'm doing. It is not currently working and never will. I sobered up and have begun moving towards change, albeit reluctantly at time and with a little bit of prodding. I still feel afraid. I realize it doesn't help me and I am working on letting go of my old way of thinking. I must think in new ways. I must be able to allow change to happen and move with. I have to see the bigger picture and imagine what lies ahead of me. I probably will always have some fear, but I must continue to acknowledge it, realize it wont help me, and be able to laugh at silly, fear inspired thoughts. Laughing is important because t allows you to move in new directions, with faith and courage. It has been said that change is not the absence of fear, but the realization there are more important thing to focus on then fear. No one can change me for me. I have to change myself for me. The message that I would never be anything and I was a useless waste of space I can conquer. I love the saying "The best revenge is a life well lived." I relish the day when I be able to show my parents and all those who doubted me what I've accomplished. If I continued on my destructive path and destroyed myself using drugs and stupidity, I'd be willing allowing them to destroy me and allowing them to have control of my life and power over me. I'd prove them right. Why the hell would I want to do that? There is another quote I enjoy too. "You miss 100% of the shots you never take. It reminds me to try because I got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

That'll be the day

"The much touted 'sexual revolution' is, and has been, a failure. It will continue to be a failure up until the day when there is REAL sexual freedom, and it is FINALLY OKAY to say, 'No thanks. I'm just not interested. At all. Ever.'

"When a person can say 'No' to sex, without being second-guessed, ridiculed, pitied, or accused of lying and hiding their true orientation, THEN they have sexual freedom".

My ideal place

I'd want a roof over my head. I'd have a girlfriend not too far away. I'd want a bookstore and a movie store nearby. There would be a computer and a garden with food and flowers. It would be small and cozy. I'd always have something new to learn. It would be quiet and peaceful so I could do yoga and meditate. A place where I felt safe. It could be either in the country or city. My means of transportation would be a really nice bike and I could write to my heart's content. All the dreams of the world would be realized and prevail because they'd have a place to blossom and flourish and I, I would have a modest, humble hand to play. I would play my hand, and it would not only be dealt righteously but played with the skill of a master. I would not rest until the fiddler has fiddled his last tune and carressed his violin with his bow as a mother caress's her child, and it sings a soft sad joyous tune and then goes forever silent, a cracked liberty bell that has done its duty and sits in dust and I have bowed and politely left the stage in the manner of a thespian.

bell hooks

Summary of First Chapter
What is feminism? I was unsure of the definition until I read bell hooks’s book Feminism is for Everybody Passionate Politics. It defines feminism as a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. It states that because society is primarily Christian, people believe a man is the head of house. The problem is many women involved in the feminism movement chose to believe it was anti-male. At first, it was anti-male but, as the struggle continued feminists realized women could be just as sexist. The main focus then switched to gender equality. Essays published during that time pointed out women could only bond together by addressing the many ways through class, race, and sex women exploit each other. Feminists had to be able to come to terms with this in regards to politics as well. The book briefly discuss how it became clear to black woman that they were never going to have equality “…within the existing white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.” hooks points out that a great deal of women, particularly privileged white woman, no longer give consideration to the feminist movement because of the economic power they have gained. The idea of the feminist movement is only available to those who are wealthy, literate, and highly educated. Many people have not rejected the idea. They have simply not heard of it. hooks then delves into the idea of reformist feminism. These are women who only try to work with the sexist system by accepting it and using their jobs to become equals at work. They leave the “dirty work” to the poor women and are thus allies to sexism. Along comes lifestyle feminism, the idea that there are many types of feminism and a woman could have feminism in life regardless of personal politics. hooks urges us to reclaim the definitions of feminist politics and allow the movement to get back on its feet. We can all spread the message that “Feminism is a movement to end http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=3797042329525447260
Create sexist oppression.” Let’s do it!