Awakening

Lashes blinking once, twice
Watching for the cue to be
All the world's wonder seen
Compare nothing to the enormity
Human minds eye
Imagination of creation
Powerful, forceful persona is born
And never dies
Nor is still, content
Breath growing within
Heart urgently pumping crimson
Vein gently webbing forth
The furnace of being lights
Out springs a man!

A Poets Mind

A flower set in the hair/Is beauty adorned
A bee busily buzzing/ Is the fruitage of hard work
A child at play/Is innocent fun
A runners dash/Is untiring endurance
A poets mind/Is greatest
Creating inspiration/And wonders more

de scend

Fate descends upon the mourners/At the funeral of their hopes and dreams
The black veil of sorrow/Draped over the mother of inventions countenance
A curtain of despair/Set at the final act
A lives work/Laid to rest awhile
The casket prison/Traps withering souls
An Idea/Smothered in infancy
Fixate your eyes/On what was
And remember well/Remembrance is the runners prize
The race is run/Time to rest your bones

A queer ending

The story of my life, my life that's, well hella QUEER
Who will be here to voice my opinions when I am gone?
No one, and I am afraid
Scared that my voice will go silent
Too soon, too soon
A vacant hole where poetry used to reside
The walls of NAFY blank again
Mouse scrawled signature vanished into-
Nothingness
Hollow echoes of poet's boldly spoken mind
A mind, a brain that has stopped Working
As if-
As if
Something had caught in the axon and neurons
And at the whim of a powerful thought
A strong force has violent tore them apart
Creative cells forcibly shut-up
Poetry left to rot forgotten, abandoned
My life's zealous pursuit gone to waste
A queer ending for a queer life

Drugs quiet the poem in my head,

A whisper where I cannot make out the words.

People growing older where their hearing slowly fades to a murmur.
I strain to hear them but it’s like a fast moving locomotive has come between
Me and them.

Bellowing steam out of the engines, bellowing steam from beneath its cobalt belly.

A train the devil conducts, driving it up a grade no human could walk.

The horn blares the sound of a million unpleasant concerts beginning at once.

All these deadly thoughts bouncing in my head—

Like purposefully overdosing

Or not giving a shit about others.

Not giving a shit about others a far deadlier thought for I fear not death.

Whereas I use drugs to quiet the poetry in my head because the vivid dreams of my poet mind do--

Cause fear.

For those words are the greatest power I have ever come to know

This would be the poem I could not write down

The tongues of people around me aflame with critique
About my own poetry, you know--

their gossip only fueling the fire of my own inspiration.

Then I say because I want to contrast the whole angel thing:

“But I know idle hands are the Devils.”

Then I said to myself,

Spoken poetry is the key that opens the cage to the enslaved,

Where then I muttered under my breath:

“I want to contrast angels—

Where Angels could not sing a sweeter melody than verse.”

Someone called me Nigger the other day,

Someone called me Nigger the other day,
as I was spanging for dope.

Then, all the junkies who cop the dope from me
Heaped insults on me, and screamed when I didn’t spange enough.

I took their abuse into the depths of my heart

Allowing it to stay as long as it wished

Then they made me walk all the way to 22nd and Lovejoy,

They taxed my cigarettes, and then stole my black lighter--

You know,
black like the night?..

You know,
Like the evenings where you cannot see your hands in front of your face.

Burned Out Bulb

My brain put up so much of fight last night
In order for it to write
It needs regeneration
Not information
Last night's poem came at great cost
Some brain cells are lost
Like a bulb that burned out
Will it work today? That I doubt
A connections been fired
Important parts have died
Listen to what I'm telling you
This poem is sad but true
Drugs have a terrible toll
They ruin your body and kill your soul

Endless Thought Train

I'm so paranoid
My words might fall of this page and drop into a void
I tell myself I'm being silly
But, really
I can't help but think
That talking to a shrink
Might not help my brain
And its endless thought train
All my fears-
Yes, the ones I keep trying to drown in beer
Won't go away
They might be here to stay
I don't know what I'll do
But it involves avoiding the loo
Beside there'll be nothing to calm me down
'Sides NAFY staff acting like clowns
I'm gonna have a fit
And throw a lot of shit

Promising Blossoms of Spring

When spring arrives, I watch the firsts
I watch the first robins searching for the company of a mate
And, when they suceed,
I see the first nest appear in the old tree
I see the first vunerable newborn crawl out of their egg
And I spy the gaping wide chick's mouth begging to be filled
And I spy the parents dropping worms into waiting beaks
I observe the first buds of spring slowly yawn open
I observe the first bees seizing the chance to gather more pollen
Victorious gathers buzz back to the hive
Dancing their tale of discovery for others to admire
I welcome the first snowbirds back from Florida
I welcome them as they arrive with big grins and fresh tans
Arms full of souvenirs and luggage
Enlisting neighbors help to unpack their crammed trailers
In the warmth of summer's end
As everything becomes active again
I smell the sweet odor of life
For what's dead has become renewed
And what has dried up is fertile again
Puddles have shrunk, leaving potholes in their place
And those that have left to avoid winter's harsh breath
Are all returning home to garden
Home to witness what has changed in their absence
Home to witness all the promising blossoms of spring

Track Marks

I lie on fallen ground
A rig sticks out of my arm
The track marks of failure
Clearly evident on my body
A mark for every time
The pain became stronger than I
The days I couldn't rise beyond the hurt
Today, I resisted temptation
Tomorrow, I may not
I write these words
Clearheaded and aware
The tar takes my thoughts, my word
Turns them into a meaningless haunted echo
Racing out of control and I turn my fear towards them
Something else to focus on so I can deny the bigger problem
Beyond the dangerous amounts of drugs
And killer chemicals I violate my body with
My usage could very well end badly
Yet, I care not
I turn a blind eye to the consequences
Do I want to live this life of regret?
Do I care to admit I could have contracted an incurable disease?
It might happen due to my sheer stupidity and the need to be cool
A nerdy bookworm with scruples is what I once was
Swore I'd never care what others thought
Never risk my health and life to please my peers
I pretend to look bad at laugh at the naive kid I used to be
But, secretly I envy the kid who wasn't afraid to be themself
Desperately longing to turn back the clock
It might be to late for me
Who knows what was cut into those drugs?
The ones I injected into my fragile veins
I may have already written my death sentence
And maybe I haven't
Perhaps, I'll even kick this shit
Through determined perseverance
I believe I can rise above
And learn to please myself first